Irrational phobias

Fear is a natural response to a perceived threat, be it physical or emotional, that is built in our systems. After all, if you did not feel fear, you couldn't protect yourself from that threat. You wouldn't perceive a shark to be a threat during your deep sea dive… and that would be the end of you. Or in a more likely scenario the fires of a burning building would probably consume you if you felt no need to fear it and run for your life. Fear is normal and much needed for our survival.

Yet, very often people fear situations, objects, or even living creatures that pose no threat whatsoever… like these guys

… and the response can be something like this…

Obviously this big hulk of a man has a terrifying phobia of dogs. And while his fear is, sadly, not uncommon, I would like to direct your attention to a number of phobias that have been widely popularized on the internet for their very quirky and possibly questionable nature.

Quite some time ago I came across a Facebook post about Anatidaephobia: the pervasive, irrational fear that somewhere in the world, a duck is watching you. Supposedly, the person with this phobia believes that no matter what they are doing or where they are, a duck will be watching them. Paranoid much? Probably. But I don’t know how I would live a sane life if this were to happen to me on a regular basis…

After much research on this phobia, it turns out to have originated from a Far Side comic, hence is not real. Still, there is an unconfirmed report claiming that someone somewhere has had this before. In which case I would truly like to meet this person (and possibly even the duck).

My new all-time favorite phobia (I just came across this today) is Luposlipaphobia. And what is this phobia, you may ask? Why, it is an irrational fear of being chased by timber wolves around a kitchen table while wearing socks on a newly waxed floor; the fear, of course, is being chased by wolves. Or is it slipping on the newly waxed kitchen floor and possibly breaking your back? Or is it both? I am not sure with this one.

Gary Larson: Far Side Comic

Thankfully, this too is a work of fiction. However, seeing as how the list of phobias includes a fear of just about anything with matter, it won’t be surprising to find a person with the rare case of “Luposlipaphobia”.

Have an irrational fear of long words? Well you’re going to have a real difficult time explaining to people that you suffer from Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.

Just kidding around! Phobias are a serious anxiety problem and should not be taken lightly. And in the manner of maintaining a serious tone, I would like to highlight that the real terminology of this supposed phobia is in fact called Sesquippedaliophobia. It is still a long word if you asked me though.

One last absurd phobia I have read about from time to time is Phobophobia, which literally translating into “the fear of fear” precisely means that – the person fears fear itself! Perhaps Franklin D. Roosevelt was onto something when he addressed the American public with "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. While the paradox of this is indeed comical, it would seem the person has a fear of developing a phobia, and more specifically, is afraid of the anticipated sensations associated with a phobia or anxiety. Of all the strange fears that have been spread across the internet, Phobophobia, unfortunately is very real. As it turns out real life can be a lot stranger than fiction.